My Dear Baby J,
You’re almost two now, but you’ll always be my baby. You’re the one who made Mother’s Day my holiday. You made me reborn. One day, I was a girl. The next day, I was a mom, and that changes you to your core.
I thought I was a woman before you. I wasn’t. I was a child, just like you. I had some responsibilities, but it was nothing like the responsibility of carrying and nourishing you in my body and then one day I got the opportunity to begin raising you. At that point, I truly changed. I went from someone who could think about herself exclusively, and that was fine, to a person who had someone else so much more important to focus on. Now, my drive is for you.
I work for you. I kept my career because I want to provide for you. Not only financially, but I want to provide a strong, independent female role model for you. I want to show you that a woman can be all things. I want to show you that women are equal to you.
I put myself behind you. Whenever I plan anything, I think, how will this affect you? Will this be a memory that you keep forever? Will this educate you? Will this experience help mold your personality? I want you to have the best life you can. And that makes me understand my mom better.
You helped me understand my mom better. Before you, she was my mom – she was always there for me – but I never understood what “mom” meant until you. I never understood that sacrifice she made. I never understood the heartache I put her through. I never understood the love that swelled in her. I never understood how much it could hurt to watch me leave. I understand now. You’re only two and I feel all of those things.
I want to thank you, J, for being my son. You made me a person that I could never have become without you. Your smile lights my life. I catch myself watching you and taking breaks when you’re gone to look at your picture or watch a video of you because I love you so much and I’m in awe of you.
I’ll love you forever. I’ll like you for always. As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.