Thursday, May 7, 2015

A Letter to the Boy Who Made Mother's Day My Holiday

 
mommy blogger, parenthood, mom, mother's day
My Dear Baby J,
You’re almost two now, but you’ll always be my baby.  You’re the one who made Mother’s Day my holiday.  You made me reborn.  One day, I was a girl.  The next day, I was a mom, and that changes you to your core.
 
I thought I was a woman before you.  I wasn’t.  I was a child, just like you.  I had some responsibilities, but it was nothing like the responsibility of carrying and nourishing you in my body and then one day I got the opportunity to begin raising you.  At that point, I truly changed.  I went from someone who could think about herself exclusively, and that was fine, to a person who had someone else so much more important to focus on.  Now, my drive is for you.
 
I work for you.  I kept my career because I want to provide for you.  Not only financially, but I want to provide a strong, independent female role model for you.  I want to show you that a woman can be all things.  I want to show you that women are equal to you.
 
I put myself behind you.  Whenever I plan anything, I think, how will this affect you?  Will this be a memory that you keep forever?  Will this educate you?  Will this experience help mold your personality?  I want you to have the best life you can.  And that makes me understand my mom better.
 
You helped me understand my mom better.  Before you, she was my mom – she was always there for me – but I never understood what “mom” meant until you.  I never understood that sacrifice she made.  I never understood the heartache I put her through.  I never understood the love that swelled in her.  I never understood how much it could hurt to watch me leave.  I understand now.  You’re only two and I feel all of those things. 
 
I want to thank you, J, for being my son.  You made me a person that I could never have become without you.  Your smile lights my life.  I catch myself watching you and taking breaks when you’re gone to look at your picture or watch a video of you because I love you so much and I’m in awe of you.
 
I’ll love you forever.  I’ll like you for always.  As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.
 
Sarah
 

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